


the first affair

by toastedricecakes



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Angst, F/F, abby is sad, hints about their past relationship, lol, melancholic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:20:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 591
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22220191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toastedricecakes/pseuds/toastedricecakes
Summary: the newfound freedoms that carol and therese now experienced in living together, abby experienced in the crushing reality that any hope of carol’s return to her was gone.or:abby is sad lol
Relationships: Carol Aird & Abby Gerhard, Carol Aird/Abby Gerhard
Comments: 6
Kudos: 30





	the first affair

for abby’s birthday, carol had gifted her a new dress, some silk stockings, and a new pair of moccasins, as well as a card with a check. she had written in the card too, which read: “happy birthday to the dearest friend i could’ve been given. don’t spend it all in one place. i was going to give you a loaf of rye, too, but i decided against it.”

abby laughed at the inside joke carol had written at the end, and then imagined carol smiling as she wrote it.

therese has written her a card too, which inside displayed an average but friendly birthday wish, as well as a photograph of abby that she presumed had been taken the last time she saw her.

the gifts were lovely, she needed a new pair of moccasins and the photo of her was beautiful, but something about them felt strange. this was the first time she had gotten a gift from therese, and she knew the girl had only sent it because carol had told her about abby’s birthday, and the only reason carol had told her was because they lived together.

therese has moved in with carol a little under a year ago, and abby had been to their apartment many times. carol didn’t even have to tell her that she and therese were lovers again, abby just knew. she always knew, from the moment she laid eyes on the younger girl, to the days she spent driving her back to new york. the only reason carol had even found out about harge’s detective was because abby knew.

she always, at least subconsciously, hoped that therese’s relationship with carol would fade and end, just like her’s, and after carol broke contact with her, abby thought it was done. but the newfound freedoms that carol and therese now experienced in living together, abby experienced in the crushing reality that any hope of carol’s return to her was gone.

she still loved carol. whether she made it blatantly obvious or not, she didn’t know, but it was true. as much as she tried to move on or distract herself, carol kept creeping back into her mind. it was like a car accident she couldn’t look away from, or a cigarette she couldn’t stop bringing to her lips, and slowly, it was killing her.

she often despised therese for her connection to carol, but was always, without fail, reminded of how young and frail the girl was, and how tremendously in love she was with carol and everything about her. and carol loved her too, abby knew, almost, if not the same amount she loved her own daughter.

it wouldn’t be fair to break them apart, and would make abby the most evil person she knew to cause it. however that didn’t stop her from drinking in the days where therese and carol would get into a petty argument, and carol would come over, both of them alone and in abby’s home.

she looked down at therese’s card in her hand. she couldn’t hate her, she didn’t want to. but something about keeping a part of her around: her photographs, the scarf she once left behind, her card, felt wrong. abby took the card into the kitchen and threw it in the trash bin.

she didn’t hate therese, no, but the act of throwing away her card gave abby temporary relief. she knew there would be new reminders tomorrow, and days, months, years in the future, but now, just for now, she was okay.

**Author's Note:**

> felt edgy might delete later


End file.
